I know someone diagnosed with breast cancer, how can I help? This question is asked every day on the internet, in phone calls and text messages, or personal conversations throughout the world. As a breast cancer survivor myself, I remember people asking me how they could help in the weeks following my diagnosis. I was naive to the journey ahead and had few answers at the time, but I still appreciated the thought. Now that I have a decade of experience navigating breast cancer, I am often on the receiving end of this inquiry again on behalf of friends, colleagues, and families who want to support their loved ones facing breast cancer. Here are the suggestions I start with the most.
Give A Care Package
Receiving a care package can let your loved one know you are thinking of them and help them to feel special and seen. You can include their favorite snacks, a fun water bottle to encourage hydration, puzzle books, a journal and colored pens, soft blanket, moisturizing lotion made for sensitive skin, chap stick, and items that help with dry mouth. Gift cards for restaurants, online shopping, and fuel cards extend help to the individual and their caregivers as they can be used throughout treatment and recovery. Use a nice basket or box to hold all of the goodies and deliver it at a time you know works for their schedule.
If there is a distance barrier for personal delivery, consider an online platform that can ship items together, or look into organizations who have prepared care packages that can be requested through their websites.
Help Out with Daily Tasks
A breast cancer diagnosis interrupts the lives of patients and their families, often making it hard for them to complete routine tasks and focus on their healing. Instead of asking them what they might need, offer a specific task that you are willing to complete. Always get permission from the patient or caregiver before taking action.
- Prepare a meal that meets their dietary needs and preferences
- Watch their children or pets during an appointment or a recovery time
- Clean their home or purchase a gift card to a cleaning service
- Provide paper goods, cups, and utensils to cut down on dish washing
- Pick up a grocery order or complete another errand on their to-do list
Be Present
Breast cancer patients often feel lonely during their treatments. Plan to be involved in their journey as much as you can by calling, texting, sending a card, or getting their permission for an in-person visit or to sit with them during an appointment. Do not have an expectation of their interaction with you but let them know they are on your mind.
There are many emotions that your loved one may feel throughout their journey. If they decide to open up to you, let them disclose details about their treatment, or even vent about the process, without judgment. Actively listen and do not offer up solutions to their emotions. Talking about their experiences with you can be comforting and will let them know you care.
Create A Distraction
The routine of medical appointments, scans and chemotherapy or radiation can feel all-encompassing and cause a patient to feel like life outside of breast cancer is passing them by.
Be sure to still invite them to events, parties, or every day moments such as coffee breaks or play dates with kids. Unless they have made it clear otherwise, do not make an assumption they cannot still participate. Patients can muster incredible strength to attend life moments in exchange for a mental break from their treatment. If they cannot attend, but still want an update, do share all the details, photos, and videos.
If requested, do not be afraid to discuss your life with them. I appreciated friends who intentionally talked about other topics besides my breast cancer journey and treatment. The updates on their families, jobs, and daily moments reminded me that there was still life outside of my current season.
Recommend A Support Group
Breast cancer is unique in all the ways it changes a patient’s life. Patients often feel misunderstood, even with a strong network of people behind them.
Ask them if they are involved with a support group. If they are interested, help them find a local or online group that encourages growth, healing, and community such as Project31.com. You can offer to attend with them if they are hesitant to go alone. These groups can be a space where a patient feels truly understood and fully embraced.
A combination of these ideas put into practice can help your loved one navigate the most difficult season of their life. Be patient with them as their needs may change, their availability might lessen, and they may not be able to express how they feel in the moment. The high demands of cancer treatment and recovery can be countered with tangible acts of love and support, and there is not a singular path to accomplish that goal.
Inspired by my own experiences, my article in Ponca City Monthly 2025, and with guidance from 7 Ways to Provide Breast Cancer Emotional Support – Project31.com blog November 21, 2023.